You may have noticed that Vigilantelope has been hitting the streets of late. We’ve enjoyed all of our excursions, but our favourite was last week, when we participated in the Great Pedestrian Footrace on Swanston Street. For those unaware of the Footrace, it is an annual event (starting this year) that involves a sprint from Hungry Jacks on Swanston Street all the way down to Flinders Street station. It always begins at 5:23 pm on the dot (or at least it did this year) and, given the popularity of Swanston Street at that time, it is often a gruelling battle through probably thousands of people. To qualify for the Great Pedestrian Footrace you must both be a pedestrian and have feet. It is for this reason that many have affectionately dubbed this race “The-Modern-Common-Person’s-Olympics-Even-Though-It-Is-Only-a-Single-Event-Over-a-Short-Time-and-Distance-And-is-Not-Publicised-And-is-Widely-Unknown” or TMCPOETIIOASEOAASTADAINPAISWU, for short.
This year, Rusty, Macdog, Pat and Joel lined up for the race, with Vach running electrolyte enhanced water to the boys and Steph, Dan and Nick dealing with the press gallery that had gathered. After an early scratching of both Macdog and Joel (Hungry Jacks were showing that extreme sports video again and MacDog wanted to show Joel a guy in the video who he thought was wearing a purple jumpsuit that looked like his) many had tipped Rusty to cruise to victory. But the smart money was on Pat, who had a will to win that was far stronger than his will to lose. After a slightly delayed start (Rusty was eager and broke twice in a row), the boys took off at a cracking pace. Rusty’s long legs proved vital in getting an early lead, but Pat’s face told a determined story (he had written six chapters of the seminal literary classic “To Kill a Mockingbird” all over his cheeks). The race became a dead heat on the final stretch, when they both were forced to wait at the lights on the corner of Flinders and Swanston Streets. It was here that Rusty’s colour blindness proved to be his downfall, as he failed to immediately register that the lights had changed colour, which gave Pat a hefty head start (given that the sound at the pedestrian crossing was no match for the speed of the little green man, who was traveling at 299,792,458 metres per second). Pat jubilantly sprinted ahead and took the honours.
The entire Vigilantelope crew converged upon the Flinders Street stairs both to reminisce upon what had been a truly magnificent battle as well as listen to the Christian Progressive Rock that was being generously provided by the energetic buskers.
This year, Rusty, Macdog, Pat and Joel lined up for the race, with Vach running electrolyte enhanced water to the boys and Steph, Dan and Nick dealing with the press gallery that had gathered. After an early scratching of both Macdog and Joel (Hungry Jacks were showing that extreme sports video again and MacDog wanted to show Joel a guy in the video who he thought was wearing a purple jumpsuit that looked like his) many had tipped Rusty to cruise to victory. But the smart money was on Pat, who had a will to win that was far stronger than his will to lose. After a slightly delayed start (Rusty was eager and broke twice in a row), the boys took off at a cracking pace. Rusty’s long legs proved vital in getting an early lead, but Pat’s face told a determined story (he had written six chapters of the seminal literary classic “To Kill a Mockingbird” all over his cheeks). The race became a dead heat on the final stretch, when they both were forced to wait at the lights on the corner of Flinders and Swanston Streets. It was here that Rusty’s colour blindness proved to be his downfall, as he failed to immediately register that the lights had changed colour, which gave Pat a hefty head start (given that the sound at the pedestrian crossing was no match for the speed of the little green man, who was traveling at 299,792,458 metres per second). Pat jubilantly sprinted ahead and took the honours.
The entire Vigilantelope crew converged upon the Flinders Street stairs both to reminisce upon what had been a truly magnificent battle as well as listen to the Christian Progressive Rock that was being generously provided by the energetic buskers.
And as the sun set, Vigilantelope looked up towards the Channel Seven News sign, and in a gesture of reverence and euphoria, saluted the smiling and ever-knowing face of Anna Coren.
